I am in the beginnings of reading a book- I am not ashamed to say that it is meant to be a self-help/motivational book. It is about self identification and the finding of one's passion in life. For any who are curious, the book is I Am That Girl by Alexis Jones. And it has me questioning myself.
Hang on, wait a second- Rose is QUESTIONING herself? The blunt, brassy, heart-on-her-sleeve, blogging-her-balls-to-the-world Rose is soul searching?! Over a chick-book?! Stop the press- we have an imposter.
That's pretty much how I feel about it too- shocking for something I picked up off the clearance rack at work for $2 because I liked a bracelet line and had forgotten my current novel at home. But nevertheless it is the case. What am I passionate about? What truly stirs me to action? What are my boundaries? My values? Who is that girl in the mirror, and why does she always want something more?
As of a little over a week from now, I will have walked through the life of that girl for twenty five years. Her roots are my own. I've known her friends, experienced her milestones, examined her decisions. I've mourned her pains and celebrated her blessings. Once or twice a wise blacksmith has tried to ask her the same questions this book is demanding now. But up till now, I've never really fought for any of the answers. I've dragged through the path I felt would be most acceptable- even when I hated every moment. I've had five years since high school to chase my dreams without really having any. It's very difficult to be satisfied when you don't know what you want in the first place.
Well, twenty five years is enough. If I'm ever going to go beyond the scraping by I'm going to have to decide how I would best do that instead of seeking the first appealing job that grabs my bait. I am going to continue reading I Am That Girl, and invite anyone reading this to do the same and begin their journey with me. Claire's has long since clearanced them out, but they can be found on Amazon here. I will post as inspired while reading, and I hope at least some will take this journey with me. I'm done simply "doing", it's time to "be".
Fruitful journeys mes amis~
Night Rose
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